What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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