Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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