just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
