i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
