We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
