Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
