Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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