well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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