bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
