my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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