But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
