lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
