found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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