the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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