Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
