dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
