so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
