We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
