it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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