The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
