Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's great music for shaving your balls
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
