Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
