I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
