look no pants
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
did i just pee glitter
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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