I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
