I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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