I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
