Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
