Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
