ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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