then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
