haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
