hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
