Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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