If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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