it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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