I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
