Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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