we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
