wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
