My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
