Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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