We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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