My Higher Power is John Stamos
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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