Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
