Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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