Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
