I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
