mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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