I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
