I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
