Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
